Not feeling the holiday Joy? If the answer is “no” you are not alone. Many struggle with depression, stress, and anxiety during the holiday season.
For mamas struggling with a Perinatal mood disorder this season can be especially hard. Not only are you “suppose” to be cheery about your baby but you also need to be cheery for the holidays…. mamas I see you.
Holiday Blues can stem from many different areas. Holiday seasons tend to trigger past and current loss. If you lack a village that consist of family and friends, it’s as though the holiday season places a magnifying glass over your loneliness. You can be left feeling that you are not enough as your Facebook and Instagram pictures are not full of Christmas decorations, family tree cutting, family Christmas portraits, and Black Friday deals.
Here are a couple of things that I want to share that might help:
Know that you are ENOUGH simply as you are. Simply as your house is, simply as your kids are, and simply with the material things you already have.
If you need a village I am going to encourage you to start plugging in. If you need help finding some local Spokane groups let me know. Did reading that give you anxiety? Did you ask yourself “how do I get out of this bed!!??” So happy you went there. That’s honestly the first step. That inner battle is a good sign. Welcome the inner battle… and then fight back. Talk to yourself like you would a good friend “mama you got this”. Just because you tried once and you were not able to make it out does not mean we stop… nope it means we keep going. Progress is progress PERIOD.
I know in Spokane we are surrounded by gray weather… sometimes we do get some sunlight, and when that happens open up all the curtains let all the light in. I also recommended purchasing a Happy Light.
Be mindful how much time you are spending on Social Media. Research shows that those who spend the most time on social media tend to have the highest Depression scores. During hard seasons we can do a lot of “comparing” which crushes our self worth.
Decrease stress. We already have a go go go society where we applauded and praise busyness… and minimize the power of stillness. Try super hard to not pack your calendar. It is ok to flex your “no” muscle. Remember when you say “yes” to something you are always saying “no” to something else. Slow down and think before saying yes. If you love “helping and doing” for others then you have to fill up your cup. What you put in is what you put out.
Spokane families your community has multiple different “Christmas gifting” resources. I know the feeling of wanting to purchase “something” for your child on Christmas and literally having no money to buy anything. In 2014 it seemed that our world crashed. I lost my job … which then lead to losing our housing. All of this happened right before Christmas. It was devastating. So mama I see you and I know that pain. A Chase Middle School class blessed our family with Christmas that year. It’s hard to write this part without tears streaming down my face.
This might be a season that you will want to engage in Therapy. It’s nice to have someone walk this journey with you. If you need help finding a therapist let me know (yes, I currently have openings).
Missing a loved one? Write them a letter. I recommend keeping a special journal for your passed away loved ones. You can write to them often in this sacred special journal. It’s normal to miss them. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions. Share how you are feeling with safe people. For my Christian mamas look up Gods promises let him comfort you, He will meet you at your time of need.
Aromatherapy is also a great option. If you are feeling anxious use essential oils that come from some part of a tree, these essential oils tend be very grounding. If you are feeling depressed I would suggest citrus essential oils, they will uplift the mood. If you are struggling with stress I suggest an essential oil from a flower, these essential oils do a great job of relaxing and opening you up.
You are enough. You do enough. You are worthy. You have infinite worth. You are loved. You belong. You have a purpose.